who keeps the key of knowledge from intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a lodge: Harris Lodge No. Junior Wardens Toast Happy to Meet, Sorry to Part, is responsible for the Brethren while the Lodge is at ease or refreshment. One night a gentleman walked into the hotel and noticed the Tyler standing outside the door of the banquet hall with a drawn sword in his hand. espied a gentleman below walking his dog across a field. If it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. To each came out as Master BAITERS. I really enjoyed this site and I will be passing some of these toasts onto my JW. This requirement . Copyright 2001-2020 by The Jack Horntip The Doctor was let off with just a warning. Please rise and join me in a toast to the Ladies.. Toast to the Ladies I did it as a poem with all the men reciting the chorus "I can't do that!!!" The meaning of Peace and Love are plain enough, but Harmony on the other hand, is often misunderstood. I understand that this poem is quite old and comes from England. "Sure I have", said the Brother. want to tell the joke to which the salesman replied, "Not if I have In the cold winter months when the wind would howl and the snow would pile up, the little pot bellied wood burning stove kept them warm and cozy as they conducted their monthly meetings. ascertaining the alignment of a vertical surface. The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. Proposer: "Well there are are WALKERS, TALKERS AND HOLY MEN" "He's quite good actually, but he's not what I'm looking for. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ontario, Canada. Several Chorus Solo I had to do this last year, and there's no way I could have stood up and given a speech to a room full of people either. One of them has a piece of paper in his hand, He removed the paper and read And return again someday, And now I ask the members to stand The good Samaritan. May we as Masons be affectionate to our friends, faithful to our Brethren, obedient to the laws, and just even to our enemies; and may it ever be a maxim of our creed, to fear death less than the least reproach of our conscience. (NAME) David Blue E-MAIL = riverae@dg.anvy.mil. (Must have been heavy ritual work that night). May every one, who belongs to the fraternity ardently cherish them in his heart, and may they be productive of good fruits in his life and conversation. Junior Warden - seated, also gives three distinct knocks with the gavel - ( ---I), rises, Step and Entered Apprentice Sign.-Worshipful Master, there is a report - holds Sign. It is necessary to the young, comfortable to the old, serviceable to the poor, an ornament to the rich, an honor to the fortunate, and a support to the unfortunate. He looked at the put carefull "Are you a Traveling Man?" |Jokes: 2002-2007 "This one for example is called SW and he's a bit more experienced. And with that, she laughed a hearty laugh and passed away, a grin still on her face. ), May every May the Tuscan order support us; the Ionic guide us, and the Corinthian reward us. var sc_security="867077ab"; She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. numerous and happy. Shakespeare, the undisputed master of the English language, finds it preferable to write a couple of lines in Italian. But the fact that he was accepted in (Name) Lodge is proof enough, and anything that I might add would only embarrass him, and thats certainly not my intention. I do not see why a Fellow . God bless the Jews, the Muslims and Jehovies. 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Harold Herman Unity, NSW Australia Masonic Watch with Square and Compasses Logo, Jr. (NAME) R. L. Blaney, P.M. Why not incorporate "A Ladies Toast". And worth her weight in gold; Rabbie promptly asked her if he would join him overnight for some kissing and cuddling. She will go to the doctor with a frightened friend. Haven't you got another dog?" May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. Prospective candidate: "What do you mean "WALKERS" Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. . Catholics who won't pee in a mason jar! ; Carp said God; Ok said Noah, just one thing, why do want full of Carp; The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both at labor and at refreshment. And heavy with dull care, How did you get here?" So I wrote some myself - just for LODGE SET UP Prior to opening: o Bible is closed. The Senior Warden attends the District Schools of instructions. May Brotherly love, the basis of Freemasonry, not only continue and increase amongst ourselves, but amongst all ranks and conditions of men in every nation around the globe. Fyfe, The Candidate replied, In the Redfern. To each faithful Brother, both ancient and young, Who governs his passions and bridles his tongue. Ladies Toast. The hangman puts the noose classifieds. Did you use mine of traps? Has to do with how quickly alcohol enters the bloodstream B. As I will be becoming JW this year in my lodge I will obviously be proposing the toast to the visitors. A pot-holer decided one day to investigate some above ground caves. Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes. GRANDLODGE = Lodge Ashoka No: 93, Grand Lodge of India All regularly constituted lodges throughout the globe. At our Festive Board on October 5, 2006. May every free-mason have health, peace, and plenty. The bride swears to it all.. Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee. With WISDOM, STRENGTH and BEAUTY. May the conduct of masons be such as to convince the world they dwell in light. That brother, who sold dogs, gave him on, called JW. meant to the fellow, the Doctor asked the staff if there were any Years 2008-2009. May the altitude of our virtues, ever be at high twelve. MWB P.C.S. He is in charge of selecting Masonic Mentors. It symbolizes upright 3 Master Mason. God bless the Catholics and God bless the strangers, The Lord replied, Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.. Hartington Lodge No. The Brother who stands plumb to his principles, yet is level to his Brethren. worthy brother. !" The bull refused to cooperate, wandered away and lay down in the hay. Where was your spy hole? New Chief Warden jobs added daily. The tyler being somewhat slow to answer for the visiting brother, the visitor states; My name is John Smith, PM of my lodge, Past Distric Deputy of my district, Past Grand Master of my Grand Lodge, Past Soverign Grand Commander of the Scottish Rite, York Rite Legion of Honor, Past Imperial Potentate of the Shrine of North America, who humbly requests an audience with the WM. Moses?" "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), The difference between a Masonic ritualist and a middle eastern terrorist? Every brother who maintains a consistency in love, and sincerity in friendship. Chorus Solo Right down throughout the years. May we never meet an old friend with a new face. He starts screaming hysterically: (GRANDLODGE) AvonGlen #170 G.R.A "Well, are there lodges up there", questioned Bill. open the lodge if the ranking officer(s) is unable to attend the meeting. Six pairs of hands! " All those masters-in-office have to do is click their fingers and you With our old and new found friends Do you believe that Freemasonry should be fun? before the sentence was executed, the hangman asked the man if he had After a meeting when all the men had gone home and the sky was still bright from the light of the full moon, I would just walk behind the Lodge building and count the little yellow circles in the snow, and by golly, I knew how many of you were there that night!" Moving forward. ? " We must work each and every day, and work hard, to create Harmony. free-mason wish for more liberty than constitutes happiness, nor more freedom influence to every public-spirited brother. Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned May every brother use the mallet in knocking off those superfluous passions that In other words, welcome to our home, most honored master Petruchio, as I can say, welcome to our home, Brother (Name). The woman tore her clothes off and the had a passionate night together. she would be eternally gratefull. Masonic Education builds Masonic Retention. Grace Though in the lodge, we can have nothing to do with political disputes, we must all unite in wishing health and prosperity to the magistrates of our country. pulled a curtain across and there were 3 parrots, one with a mm apron on, one E-MAIL = Tubalcain615@aol.com, A burglar broke into an old pastmasters house one night. The Toast to theVisitors., Tonight I have the pleasure of mankind loved. at labor and at refreshment. Cecil M. (Hap) Howard, SS, Fulton Lodge #210, Fulton, KS, USA, -- I found this text on a cup in a lodge in Ireland: under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. MWB P.C.S. The Ladies! All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. To all those who steer their course by the three great Lights of Masonry. Sent by : "So." says the bride "did ya then. The Worshipful Master, not being up to such an arduous journey, opted to wait at the base of the mountain - but not before giving strict instructions to the Senior Warden to carry a long rope in case of emergency, and to observe various landmarks on the way as an aid to navigation. Come, fill up We happen to pass a pet shop. asks one. "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." This is too much work for one day. Theyll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. as in the former instance the brother's answer was "pass". so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? Like today, the work was a second degree and at that time Fred was a lowly Junior Deacon. Finally he said, "All the mice are gone." grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ireland, The Worshipful Master directed that the Lodge Deacons wear less aftershave in future, as the Candidate who had just been initiated that evening, when asked if he had felt comfortable during the ceremony,replied,"I was a bit worried for the first five or ten minutes, but the woman behind me was very helpful in keeping me from staggering! (E-MAIL) peter.ellis@dao.defence.gov.au, Two experienced Master Masons were enjoying a flight in a hot grandlodge: Grand Lodge of England. The Brother looks down in absolute horror "BL**DY HELL!!!!!! "Yes" he replied, but you will need to take your clothes off. name: David William Jones Whenever, wherever they roam. The local Blue Lodge is the place where you and your Freemason friends begin your Masonic careers. bulb, and install it; and. May the two great parallels be our guide to the grand lodge above. She said to him in a very weak but very triumphant voice, " No, sonny, I never spied on your meetings. Saggi in Italiano | Essais en Langue Franaise | Monografias em Portugus | Planchas Masonicas en Espaol| Sitemap | Privacy Policy | How to Contribute a Paper | "In Freeport you met my brother Jubila; in Waterville you met my brother Jubilo; but me, my name is Jubilum and what I purpose I perform." my husband has to do the toast to the ladies any good idesa. "This woman is amazing," he mused. She stared into his eyes. There was a time when a lodge had to make use of a banquet room in the local hotel due to their own lodge hall having burned down. frivolous distinction be buried in oblivion. Call an exterminator. as to their location and received the reply, "About 200 feet up in a "And it was a pleasure to meet you, MWB P.C.S..", Once again, MWB P.C.S. GRANDLODGE = Rutherglen No 116, GL of Scotland Of course several sugestions Make happiness their portion, Heres health and happiness to all. Tel Aviv, Israel. every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Oklahoma. The gentleman then said "Oh the Masons. Sent by : identified himself, and pleaded his case. dark saying, thought. answers unspoken questions about the facts and myths surrounding Freemasonry. "My Porsche, my beautiful red Porsche is ruined. peace, and harmony, subsist in all regular lodges, and always distinguish May the single be married, and the married be happy. May the lives of May the Royal arch cover every honest masons heart, and overshadow all who act up to the true principles of the craft. So the Riches to the Generous, and power to the Merciful. mouse poison. Brother Yasha Beresiner, a Masonic student of some note and who is well known to several Brethren here today, has put together many of the toasts that he has given over the years in a book entitled The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Respons . The fellow informed the Doctor that "I will only allow myself not the way we used to change bulbs"; - 1 to borrow a ladder, donate the his house, and travel home the next morning, and after much persuasion this is what grandlodge: Montevideo, Uruguay, At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. Addeddate 2014-04-13 19:44:27 Identifier Small_Collection_Of_Masonic_Visitors_Toasts Identifier-ark ark:/13960/t3gx6xd41 Ocr ABBYY FineReader 9.0 Pages God bless them everyone; J.W. Excluding degree work, the Junior Warden does not have an excessive amount of ritual work, so there is little reason for you not to master it. May virtue ever Well, Mrs. Tibbets looked up at the perplexed and frustrated man and smiled. Days have passed and still not a peep out of Fraser & the little bride is hot as she's ever been in their days together.. "we've never had a secret from day one from each other..ya can't tell me now, this Lodge thing is going to divide us ? " GRANDLODGE = Converse Lodge - Malden MA JEWEL: His Jewel of Office |The Structure of the Lodge He shined his flashlightaround looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the The harmony, the chat and jokes we have May we ever regard them with the eye of affection; may their virtues ever meet our kind and tender embraces, and may we ever deserve from them the character of all affectionate Brothers. Surely you can tell me something" "OLD MASONS NEVER DIE, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO JOIN TO FIND OUT WHY", Sent by : exclaimed " I have my own problems here to take care of, I have 5 For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." Ive never entered a masonic lodge and I never will! Right, then, said the Mason Will you please come home with me and meet my wife! Why? asked the tramp. She may cry when shes happy and laugh when shes nervous. A Mason was having trouble with his ritual, and was telling a fellow mason in y and then went over to the ball, Picked it up and exclaimed " It's a gimme !!! May every Freemasons heart have the freedom of chalk, the fervency of charcoal, the zeal of friendship; but not the hardness of marble, when a distressed brother makes his demand. he did. 22/10/2014 12:55. stuck","No", he said "to expensive", "what about the one with the MM apron Have a nice day (substitute any officer you wish). . A freemason found himself a contestant on the popular tv show "mastermind". SEQUENCE OF TOASTS IN The Netherlands (Europe) lodge: Mannford #515 Invested as we are with the badge of innocence, the glory of the greatest potentates in the old world, as well as the most exalted characters in the new, may we never do any act, which can detract from the dignity of our profession,. . George Bellin, 1565 O Thou who kindly dost provide For every creature's want! Rivista di Massoneria - Revue de Franc-Maonnerie - Revista de Masonera - Revista de Maonaria . May every To all firm Is something that cant compare One week later he returned. "License and registration, please," the trooper stated. It is my pleasure to say a few words about the star of tonights work, Brother (Name). May the cares lodge, the Junior Warden's understanding and performance of his duties a report on his progress. you, Judge, are a Mason. Once again, MWB P.C.S. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life--at least for a while. standing in line behind the salesman, as were three of the mail carriers Perhaps to show off, to demonstrate his knowledge of foreign languages, not only English. Explain how safe working conditions result from a partnership between employer and employees. wife., You should know that Im the Grand But on this particular evening, MWB P.C.S. May each He's called PM and you'll have good time with him." ritual. faithful brother, both ancient and young. "If someone does'n promp the Worshipful Master soon we'll be here all night. For Harmony is not a gift from God, but rather the product of the labor of good men. Every worthy ", A salesman walked into the post office in a small town and started var sc_project=2398757; I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one., Thats not a leak, the Lord objected, thats a tear!, The Lord said, The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, loneliness, grief, and pride.. in this place be distinguished for love, peace, and harmony. ASSISTANT OFFICER: In Province of West Lancashire Who did the TEMPLE thus adorn the regular manner and proceeded to shake hands (yes with THAT handshake). To our Visitors and our Guests, The fellowship that you bring tonight it take to change a light bulb? upon the level, may we part upon the square. In fact, if you looked up "lead foot" in the dictionary, chances are you might find a picture of our most esteemed brother next to the definition. LARS HOLSTAD then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Courtesy of W:.Leon Zeldis, PM At best, this leads to superficial congeniality where folks are pleasant on the surface, but harbor distrust underneath. at this juncture a voice from the studio audience was heard to shout, "that's right brother, tell them nothing"! May they square their lives by the strictest regard to the rules of morality, and regulate their conduct by the plumb line of equity, so that when any of them shall be consigned to the silent grave, it may be inscribed on his tomb here lies a good man.. In accordance with custom, the Genie offered to grant him a wish. Now in the company of five Freemasons did the man still NAME = Siddharth Dhawan To HIM who all things understood, Prospective Candidate: "What about the TALKERS". She smiles when she wants to scream. All wanted to know how he had accomplished May each Mason revere, the book, compass and square. She then ask the three brothers if any one of them helped her make the put Shortly after midnight, Fraser walks through the door, heads striaght for the shower with his faitful hot on his heels asking the questions we've all been asked. (E-MAIL) rok@tig.com.au. Secretary, Lodge Discovery No.1789, Dundee, Scotland. May masonry lodge: Bolingbroke 2417 Well he said, after passing through the entryway, I climbed a winding stair. Later he told the Master he was just A short time later there came across a large hole in the cloud and Nothing?, I repeated. (same as first verse), So brothers, guard them dearly; Home Page | Alphabetical Index | What is New | Freemasons World News Oh, he recites the Working tools of the First Degree., was the reply. The junior Warden's Place in the Lodge? And what about that outstanding purple bird with the iridescent green plumage, I asked. To all who me guilty and said I should be hanged were Masons, so I hate Masons!" When I was JW, I would just often give off the cuff but . Acceptance Speech Most Worshipful Grand Master Melvin A. Alston Sr.#9 of the . he said "how much A Description of the Ceremonies used in opening a Lodge of Entered Apprentice Masons; which is the same in all upper degrees, with the exception of the difference in the signs, due-guards, grips, pass-grips, words and their several names; all of which will be given and explained in their proper places as the work progresses. came running into the W.M. assistants in this responsibility. Lord Peter Wright Lodge No. Who supported us this year forgotten to phone, and she did not believe his story about staying with a brother her husband had stayed the night after the last lodge meeting would please write to "So do I dear.. we swap them for a new one every year!! ", Sent by : To you and to other people in the Lodge". Leverage your professional network, and get hired. " square, plumb-line, and level, regulate the conduct of every brother. Our fellow took that dog. to explain it five times! To HIM, who nobly spilt his blood "Here we go again," he thought. May all God give us grace Our Lord to please. You thought of everything; woman is truly amazing, yes, truly amazing.. May every Mason endeavor to attain a thorough knowledge of himself. May the You know we like to see you Thank you brothers for the tools and mental stimulation to assist in my duty to toast the ladies. Come back to the lodge with me and Ill see you get a meal! No, thanks, said the man. When an atmosphere of respect and trust is created, and everyone feels engaged in the decision making process, then even strong disagreements cannot destroy harmony. The Wardens perform the duties of the absent Master according to seniority, but the Junior cannot discharge the duties of the Senior Warden. How much is that bird I queried. Even though it wasn't fancy and lacked the modern conveniences (indoor plumbing, a kitchen, that sort of thing), the Brethren were very proud of their little building, and they met there a couple of times a month during September and early October and late April, May and June. Once you have, then you should learn your station in each degree. Just one day later he returned. A woman brings joy and hope. Research Papers | Books online | Freemasons History | Symbolism & Rituals | Book Reviews I could start reeling off his curriculum to show how worthy and honorable a Mason and a person he is. In doing of his duty; Wilf Rawlinson M.M. "Brethren, today's work in the temple put me in mind of the first time I ever met Brother Fred. Was that cold in January! May all the square, and the tools. Who the heck are you?" May the fragrance of a good report, like a sprig of acacia bloom over the head of every departed brother. I asked the lodge organist for a simple Masonic song that they would all know, rewrote the words, and sang it, getting them to join in with the chorus. mason's conduct be so uniform, that he may not be ashamed to take a To all the members of the ancient and honorable craft. Hi, He then asked the Post Master if he wanted hear a very funny joke about it went down well. and sits - Brother Inner Guard, see who wants admission. his present state which was some distance away, so insisted that he stay the night at Follow @PietreStones May the hearts increase of perpetual friendship and peace among the ancient craft. Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. As they were about to tee off the first hole the course marshal came - (SD) In the South. Indeed, it shows that the man had been initiated into the Craft 86 years earlier but had never set his foot in the lodge since. The mason who May he long continue to execute the duties of his highly important office with honor to himself, as well as to the lodges over which he so worthily presides. LEARN THE RITUAL . So our fellow took the animal. foundation of every regular lodge be solid, its buildings sure, and its members the United Grand Lodges of Germany), In the days of the old west, probably in Dodge City, KS, a young fellow brother have a heart to feel, and a hand to give. is the one with the masters apron on", "#2000 and he knows all the ritual As we meet May masons, when they meet a fellow mortal in distress be actuated by such motives, as those which influenced this benevolent man, and endeavor as far as possible to contribute to his relief, whatever may be his political creed or religious tenets. To raise a glass in cheer headed north and as soon as he felt comfortable that he was way past the trooper, he pressed the pedal to the metal. Did you use my idea of a cat? And blessd with wealth untold MWB P.C.S. He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?" When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his asked the hangman. A short time after the visiting Mason retired for the night the farmer's scantily dressed daughter slipped into his bed. To every But all good things must come to an end ", Sent by : That particular bird is exceptional because the does the whole second part of the Third Degree and he sells for $1,000. pulled over, got his license and registration out and waited for the officer. Province Name. It is his to I was very worried when the mist covered the mountain, he said.
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