Please reply if you read this, I need a lot of support. She use to tell me she,hated me and cry to live with him while at the same time he was threatening to take her away from me. Maybe the word is thrown around too much,not all break ups are because of narcissistic abuse, but too many are these days! Like life, the break up is a cycle. I never even thought of going back to him, i was done ..had enough of him! why do they talk about exs so much and compare you to them? And he and him where together now allan Denies it. The narcissist does whatever it takes to get what they want from you. This was the final time I left the relationship (number 7). As of this moment, with tears flowing from, I dont if its the fact that someone else may actually and honestly comprehend and understand the craziness endured in this Very Real Unreal Fantasyland Nightmare of being with someone who has fabricated an imaginary boyfriend/husband/?, for me to believe is real, and so sick that the N hates self that much to even feel a need to be doing such a thing, and whats worse, the made up person could never possibly exist because they have created something so unheard of and all the while, now this is the most confusing, if the N is wanting nothing but admiration and to be so loved and adored, while making up a fake boyfriend all for me, this monster, the one standing in front of me, IS a huge a-hole, that makes me ask him, Why do you hate you so much, that you make up some entity that would never possibly exist, yet, if this is the person that you so obviously desire to be, whatever that is, then why is it that you are not being that way, because what you ARE, is exactly the opposite and if you go to the extreme of all this fairytale crap bs that anyone can see(after a few encounters), then why not put that energy into doing what it takes to be ALL THAT instead of something so horrible that nobody, not even you, want to know? Lazy. I know getting a new girlfriend is probably complicating the matter but my situation is not making the new girlfriend happy either. Very interesting reading each time I see a post. I move in with my sister. Yet what happens when survivors are lucky enough to identify the abuse that is occurring to them and with the right support and resources, are able to leave their abusers first? Then following day he tells me at breakfast that he still sees the woman, he is planning to break up off all contact, they are just friends, but knows he must do it in order to have a life with me. I felt like my life was about to end i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Wow, seems to fit me to a tee. She saw first hand of the different women going in and out of ther life, and none of his relationships lasting. As much as I wanted to respond, I would walk away or simply state that I was not going to argue. He had not dealt with our seperation and divorce, at all. So why wouldnt he consider it might be the girlfriend who has been chasing him for 17 years, who might want to make me look like doing it so that she can keep in in line and away from my house? I think a lot of younger women get in relationships with older narcissistic men because many of them look younger than their age and many, my friend in particular lies about his age. He says. It is unethical to do so and they seem to have no problem with it. Im living proof of it. Theyre less likely to return to you if they find a consistent source of supply. Find a therapist who understands narcissism, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 3 Reasons People Are Drawn to Narcissists, 6 Signs of Narcissism You May Not Know About,, The Narcissists Dilemma: They Can Dish It Out, But . I am pretty sure when some girl dumps his selfish butt hell unblock everything and come back. And see so many messages sexual talking to men about how he wants to have sex with them. All i can say now is thanks to Dr.KATE, if you need any help from him contact him with this email omozokpialovetemple@outlook.com, he is a very powerful spell caster. that is the true way to dignity, healing, inner peace and ultimately genuine, long-lasting happiness. They cant take criticism or to be told no. Without self-reflection, they are destined to repeat the same patterns in every new relationship. Is there any advice please feel free to share. as i was browsing through the internet, I came across a website that suggested that Dr.Mack can help get ex back fast and stop a divorce or breakup and so on , So I felt I should give him a try. good luckfrom what I read Ur an amazing mum get Ur son back xxx, Hi love. After one year of my marriage my husband behaviour became so strange and i dont really understand what was going on, he packed out of the house to another woman i love him so much that i never dreams of losing him, i try my possible best to make sure that my husband get back to me but all to no avail, i cry and cry seeking for help, i discussed it with my best friend laura and she promise to help me. I am so angry this man stole my youth. Long hanging fruit gets picked first, perhaps you need to raise your bar a little bit. She would say terrible things to me like, We said not to abort the baby, we didnt say keep it When we found out my baby was a boy he made me feel defective in some way. Fight I go to bed. He still flies to my state to exercise his visitation, so he can maintain contact with me. I did a tapping exercise a few days ago and I think it helped. lack of empathy. I was in Hospital for about 2.5 weeks and when admitted I was extremely weak from malnutrition, I had broken ribs, 2 fairly large lacerations on the lower part of my left leg, another on my left knee and gashed knuckles on my right hand. Its exhausting. New victim. This means that he will threaten to reveal your secrets or do something to hurt you if you don't go back to the way things were. I have him blocked from texting and calling. LeaveANarc, yes I do understand, though my discard of him just happened. Its a very viscous type of demon and its best to run! Run a million miles from these people. I am not proud of my outbursts, but why am I this horrible, terrible person, and hes the victim! What he said is insignificant (as you know, he is NOT a credible source to judge ANYONE, therefore his opinion does not matter). Breaking up with a narcissist is likely to be a draining experience. They neededwith as much psychological vigor as possibleto combat the unfavorable assumptions about self they earlier imbibed from their parents (who were woefully insensitive as to how their words could wound their offspring). They say this to control what you do, who you see, and where you go. And if so has he ever tried to use them to gain access back into your life once you left for good? I just want out, what should I do I have no job nust had a baby 03-13 a 5 and 9 I cant take it anymore. I than realized that his daily and nightly calls constant was his way of controlling me and see what I was up too. Out. com] I still cant really say what prophet dumela did actually but i can boldly say that the prophet gave my relationship that perfect fixing that my relationship was lacking happiness/love and through this my lover is seeking for me to marry him without wasting no more time. It was a horrible split-up.I ignored him, totally..but he wouldnt stop..and still continues to this day.I should have known something was way wrong with him in the very beginning, he always spoke of how he was getting DSS to investigate some old GF..always hurting someone, because they had to levae his abusive ass! He wanted to talk, clear things up, be honest and tell me the truth so we could move forward. Please get saved. There is a high likelihood that they will come back to you at some point. Lots of things happened and we took a trip together with girls including her ex. And I find out he has adds on sex sites and apps and has been screwing around more trying to groom Some one to move to the next. We talked once before I had the baby, I was in the hospital, he said, Ya my moms in the hospital too. I thought is so strange that a 40 year old man would be more concerned with his mom being in the hospital than his babys mom. Another part of me wants to give myself a chance to actually have a life. (By the way Ive been diagnosed with BPD and Im in treatmentso Im not particularly healthynmyself..not judging. I was so distraught. Had a on /off relationship with him for 16 more terrible years..we have two kids who now are adults. Both marriages required me to sign a prenup since he was well off and owned a business. He had come home that night to get all of his stuff and leave permanently. At the beginning of 2019, he began having an affair but knowing how narcissists are, I needed proof before I could get him to admit it. I found myself a nice girl as well. I have cried ALOT of tears, never being able to understand how someone could be so cruel. I could never get a job, for each job I had he showed up to work and in one way or another got me fired.. or I had to quit.. This person does not have a soul. Hes super greedy. To meet a friend so I know. Thank you well he insists to set them up this clunky phone charger he puts by my bed and this clock by my tv that faces my bed The light from the clock is so bright I start to cover it at night I start getting text hes you using your clock ? These are emotionally unstable ppl. All that can be said if you mistake genuine intimacy for being part of a 30+ girl rotation, then youre a fool. Thank you. She managed to turn all my family (who happen to not even have known her very well) against me, I lost them all, but had to get out at all cost if not for my great friends and support at the community church I would have lost the battle in this world for good Guess what, after 3 years she now contacted me again, I feel desperate to go fix things, but that will land me back in a world of pain and of course, she used my sister to get hold of me again, and apparently they are best friends. They are master minds at it to say the least. 363 Followers. Hes gone! I moved out but have not done No Contact until very recently. The longer youre together, the more time the narcissist has to learn your idiosyncrasies and how to control you. That a traumatic experience happened at one time to them and they dissociated themselves. I have been trying to get a divorce for over a year now from my N and though there are many reasons why the process is taking so long, he has moved back in with his mother and has temporary custody of our daughter. I found out about another woman and didnt move in with him. Then say I deserve this It starts to ruin my relationships with my friends he called them sluts whores. Even if he is in the relationship for power or control, he still feels immense pain and sadness. I felt super uncomfortable. Other negative emotions, like sadness and anxiety, are internalized because they involve directing the negative feelings inward toward oneself. Breaking up with the narcissist gets you off the rollercoaster. Well I sat there in disbelief?! Victoria. I know I would not be of a sound mind after all I went through and from time to time to a much lesser degree I still have to contend with because we are parents. he really believe he get full custody after doing what he did to me.but I focused fully on our daughter.and myself and they comeback when you doing good. Ive read a lot on narcissism since I got involved with this man & I can say from personal experience, this seems to be exactly how they are. I kept it from friends and family, he would come over and have dinner with me and the kids then leave to go to his undercover job. he threatens to not take our son now 9 months at weekends for me to work. Its interesting that the comments of all these people dealing with narcissists are dealing with men older than them. No crap no lies no bad. His soil is toxic And polluted over the years . To my amazement being naive that these people exist now I have made it my mission to understand it for my own peace of mind. I bought things for him, spent all my time with him, and allowed my life to revolve around him. The absolute indifference to me after I moved for him was nothing short of emotional devastation for me. No I need my keys so I ge them back Im covered in my own blood everywhere The cops come. I left the relationship five weeks ago when I cut him.out of my life it was what my soul needed. Thanks to the information I was able to research, I learned a huge amount of information on the subject. Your feelings are only a way to control you. While narcissists have an inflated sense of pride, they have no qualms about returning to a relationship if they think it will benefit them. Nothing had worked except that . He didnt want to answer any of my questions while here and could not look me in my eyes. And how hes single. Another way to tell is to suggest getting someone to pray over them, I bet they will like hell! Some are harrassing, some just dont comply with my requests to stay away, some email like years latera matter of time. My fam wasnt normal at all either but it was always just my mom n dad. why? that was enough to see something was not quite right. It was him! Possibly. Start enjoying your life and doing things u enjoy even the smallest things I know what u are going through because I been there and are still going through it! Am doing this all this for your own benefit and for your happiness and to also gain all you have lost back. She sounds like a compassionate woman with a bit of vulnerability. They didnt voluntarily give up their humanity, it was taken from them from people just like the monsters they became. Best way out after goin back to him 12 times was an avo after he hit me. 7. That is why I put up with it I was the emphasis and he knew it from the start. After all, as children, they were either ignored by their caretakers, constantly criticized by them, or held to unrealistically high standards they couldnt meet. But their deeper insecurities are yet discernible in their so often fishing for compliments. This is the only thing that gets their juices flowing. I had also blown up at him in an angry way a couple times, which resulted in blocking me on FB. This could be anything from buying flowers and showing at their partner's doorstep to offering expensive jewelry and a romantic trip. All Metodo Acamu asked from me was just materials and nothing else and it was for not reason compulsory for me to give him the money for the materials because, i had options he gave me to get the process done. We chatted for months. He filed for divorce, he wouldnt/didnt move out of the house, he closed all accts and left me with no financial support, despite our having three children living in the home, etc. I am not in contact with my son, as he is still manipulating him, but im hoping that he will come around in his own time, I am NOT saying this is easy. Narcissists usually dont have lasting relationships though, so theres a good chance youll be seeing them again when the next one fails. I questioned him; he gave me a random excuse and I told him he has a chance to come clean if he was still seeing someone else, which he denied. I spend most my time working and reading reading reading! You write about this from the point of view that its the man who is always the narc. I am unemployed, living with a friend and he depleted my account. I talked to him about selling my belongings and it was the first time I saw crocodile tears. I value myself now. I bet many of you can and have! But we started having more disappearing acts; I would confront him and he would make up lies. I do not hear from him for. I still have the birthday present he had sent me back in September lying around here unopened (I did not even open the shipping box it came in- dont know what to do with it). No cure for such souls? Attractive and a real sweet talker. He was one of the strangest people I have ever known, but fortunately I found Sam Vaknins you tube videos. If you are not strong enough to endure evil retribution, leave quietly. you pick the best symbol. We both thought it was a little creepy. Trying to come to terms with all the psychological damage done because of far too much exposure to her toxic personality for over 8.5 years is also very difficult. Oh my gosh!!! He didnt take everything and he left his vehicles. I was so alone and wanted to die..thankfully the lord showed me the answer . i was like this is a dream, but later realized that it was reality, Larry was crying and pleading on the phone that he missed me a lot that i should come back to his life, i was like is this real? The last night he stayed out, he was gone two days but not before accusing me of cheating because I wasnt home when he came in after dark. stockfour / Shutterstock. oh and good job for dumping him and staying away! A couple of years ago a friend of mine introduced me to different types of personality disorder which caused me to sorta wake up from the spell. I feel there is absolutely NO reasoning with him. Thank you, this describes my life to a T. Finally after 10 years of this its time to end it. I was so upset that she hasnt been there for me. We found that those high in narcissistic admiration had particularly positive views of their ex-partners. courageous indeed . To God be the glory our relationship is now very tight and we both live happily again. It's a tricky situation because they will likely be back, but here are 7 common reasons why narcissists break up with their partners: They Found a New Source of Narcissistic Supply; They Fear You're Close to Exposing Them; They've Gotten What They Want . Their shame complex. It didnt take long before he convinced me that he loved me and he was going to get his divorce and he asked me to marry him. He completely withdrew and has done nothing to get back to me. Im ruined, worthless, drug addicted, dont want to do anything except stare at the wall all day, I hate who Ive become Stop! Hi, she only cares about herself and is manipulating you. In Canada, the first year all rights are given to the mom it seems especially when hiding in the breastfeeding umbrella. In September 2014 I knew the damage was very bad because it was constantly manifesting itself in many ways on an almost daily basis. He said I wouldnt have to do that with him because he wouldnt stick around where hes not wanted. Narcissistic rivalry, on the other hand, is the tendency to put others down. When I would question him he would tell me that I was crazy and insane and thats why no one would ever want me. Just got off a break with a person who perfectly fits this description. I am now divorce for a yr now.. from a 14yr marriage. I have just gotten out of a 3 1/2 year what I cant decide was either a Narc or Psycho relationship; he dumped me. Hi Pretty, my story is, as everyone who has been with a N, exact and precisely the same. Sometimes you may find advice from people in the strangest of places. I could identify with some of things mentioned in this article, however I am not a victim. Theres something really wrong with the abuser types but its because of their horrible mom & dad. 1.) get out.. while you can.. its a lot harder to do later on.. when you have years into your unemployment or lack there of. They are all defective, but again I will point out that the women are far worst than my N brother. He left one confused email. About how I returned my husband, we got married for over 9 years and got two kids. Being in a relationship with a narcissist is emotionally draining, so when one breaks up with you, it can feel like a godsend. By about August 2015 it had such a tight grip on me I was virtually paralysed from doing much of anything due to my fear of her, severe depression, complete loss of self confidence and little to no self esteem. I am now 38 I met him when I was 26 he was 48 he used me I allowed this now I feel like running him over he is 60 a crack head and I was as well. Don't give second chances. What it generally means is to let go , being in no contact is going to boost your ego and in the mean time you wouldve lost a considerable amount of life and career.. if you strongly feel that someone dont deserve your happiness or they demand you to sacrifice and what you feel is mutual let go .. let go .. you are going to get what you deserve be it a narcissist psychopath or whoever you will see them come to you the way you want .. but be open that you dont expect anything out of them.. let time take the call, surrender your sorrows to something you believe could be your god or your sentiment take the course of life you are going to get better and better and better .. in fact we are all narcissist psychpathic and bipolar people and we dont know it yet because love itself is a bipolar thing as it expects mutual consent and dependency .. we are talking about two brains at once in a single relationship Dont brand people , let them be people who they wish to be, rather blaming them make yourself beautiful and live the complete humanity. If you don't give him compliments, he will find someone that will. So. He would then treat me like a dog with no tolerance, no compassion or help with anything. My boyfriend left me for another girl. So, he left me devastated and without the ability to earn a living. He has already started his manipulative behavior patterns on her and has moved on to his next victim who is 25 and has no children. She came back to wish me happy birthday in May and I called her and told her not to mess with my head.. she said she promises that there will be no more tears. He came with rage and the intent to put fear in me, like always before.Those days of showing any kind of kindness, had long been gonelong before I left. I work because I do not have the money to survive! How cruel are you. Its working thus far and yes it isnt long but everyday I pray for courage not to be sucked in to his web. I became resentful and tried talking to him that the relationship is in trouble. 4 Benefits of Narcissist Break Up Games. Even though they had ended the relationship they continued to ask for sex!!! Or his laptop. We have said , goodbye, so many times. However one the relationships ended he would revert back to harassing me and doing anything to sabotage any new relationships. I AM SO DESPRATE IN NEED OF HELP TO COME OVER ALL I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I CANT ANYMORE, Great post. he is powerful and great his contact is Kumalovespell@gmail.com you can also contact him for help. A few more weeks down the road, he was spending several nights a week with me until I told him I wanted a real date, you know like outside the house in public. its annoying cz females are actually the ones more prone to playing head games, i believe men are more than often the victims !? Phrases to Disarm a Narcissist. The trip is perfect. If you think that she wont change, do you feel as though I should become a narcissist? She has also lost her daughter and sister, what a terrible tragedy in life for her. We spent a lot of time sitting and talking at my house and when he left, spent the next several hours on the phone. Another 15 minutes later, he comes back. Only had 3 arguments in the short 3mths but wow huge!!! The narcissist completely brainwashes that you are the reason for the damage of the relationship. You are right. do not talk over the phone and if he calls, do not answer it.. he can manipulate the courts saying you had a different convo then you really did. Considering this woman told me she went on the internet to find out where I lived and she got my phone number from his telephone then tracked him to my house and had the gall to knock on my door? That just wasnt me but I slowly adapted to that b/c I thought thats what u did for your spouse. Ben consistent in EVERYTHING do not show your weakness to anyone they dont like u doing better I promise and thats your won gameplan just dont get carried away this is for your son. Given how their defense systems drive their personality, even in such crises, theyre unable to sustain any (purely pragmatic) shift in behavior. He was cold as ice to me; it was my fault, I put him out again. 1. Actually, my N didnt give a crap at all. Jobless, drug addicted severely depressed, escort who has no desire to do ANYTHING nut stare st the wall for days. However, should you return to the relationship, dont expect flowers and chocolates. Keep records of conversations, events, etc. He would leave me alone. when she asked me, I immediately said no and that it was an old pic she now feels betrayed and emailed me that she is so hurt. On one hand, it is informing others about a potential threat, on the other, it is educating narcissists about how they appear to others, increasing their ability to camouflage narcissistic traits. Im kinda average size and weight, hes about 65 and I come up to his shoulder, which we both said was perfect. Manipulation is their biggest hobby, so when their victims find their voice and decide enough is enough, a feeling of anger and emptiness washes over them. its is a long and difficult path. I know this as I am now a useless. I discovered that he was on dating sites. She may never be happy period. Call blocking and my last text. Thankyou LG xx. Him in email to let me go If he was having sex and trying to be with some one else. He was back in NY With other women. after two days, I was left alone crying and begging. Well. I have nobody I can talk to this man has really hurt me I hate him and I wish him harm. Its the latter part of that statement that really matters to the narcissist though; the feeling diminishes the longer youre in a relationship with them. Im really upset as what we had was really special and it breaks my heart to know it will end. i also come across one particular testimony,it was about a woman called Sonia,she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 7 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped High Priest OLORUN s e-mail address. she then turned it around and started taking notes on me and trying to subtly accuse me of being a narc. He has already moved on and made sure to rub this into my face via facebook. By the grace of god I went to college for 12 years and have a great career .i let him back in our lives 6 years ago as he convinced me he had found god. He threw himself into his new job and couldnt have cared less that I was there or not. Hit Rock Bottom from leaving going back etc. I just came across this post and i felt i was rading about me. Since these dont fit under the criterion of physical abuse, sexual abuse, or neglect, child protection is unable to help me. Weve lived or are living through a lot people, lets not blank out a legitimate English word. Long distance relationship, we went on holiday and on the 3rd day found out he was hiding a serious STD from me!! The man is a Narcissist and a sex addict. The. Enlighten her by telling her what I know about her, and tell her to enjoy her amusement while it lasts. So. I set my boundary and cut my losses early. Just got word that he wants to come back, and move back in like nothing has happened. What puzzles me in these articles/blogs though is that far too often the N example is a he. I can recall being that guy when he frequently went above and beyond to help others in need. I wish I would wake up. He loves pegging and porn on methvery rarely would even attempt to satisfy me. this is an interesting question that I will answer from my own perspective and experience. Punching me bitting me Grabs my phone throw it and take some keys so I run after him he tells me leave him alone. Narcissists have a host of nasty tricks that theyll use to bring you down including smear campaigns that involve mutual friends, stalking, and baiting you back into the relationship just to break up with you. Because he could still make me do his will, or most of it anyways. I was raised by a Malignant Narcissistic Mother who suffered every symptom on the list and more. Even if they have already obtained another source, they still want attention from you. Of course its all my fault. This not only gives them an enormous sense of power, but it also weakens you mentally and emotionally. He worked as a fraud investigator and told me he had to go undercover with NICB and we had to get a divorce but it wasnt real. After someone breaks up with narcissist, the narcissist is in agony. He was very careless with our the finances, something was always past due or in danger of being disconnected. I have a newborn baby girl with a married man who is narcissist. Dear friends, I am from united states i had a problem with my husband 2years ago, which lead to our break up. Im going to put a different spin on this. No man buy a new car for his separated wife that is telling him she is going to move out. It is also important to note that most of this research examines narcissistic traits within the normal population, not individuals diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder. That men are being emotionally abused in this area With virtually no help to understand what could be happening to them . Maybe that way we prove to the people who hurt us , we are worth living in this world than them .. being in no contact is another pain to endure when you have mouth to talk. A police officer even told him to leave me alone. I would gather all of the info on narcissism, document his actions and get a lawyer to prove he is a danger. The last time was 12 days and I fell yet again for his bullshit! He wants to buy a house and have a life with me. Please do everything you can to go no contact. All of it. Im terrified. By saying this, they try to tear you down to make themselves feel better. He seemed to become enraged more and tried other ways to berate me. . Create a support system. I think the only way to avoid this guy for the next 18+ years would be for you to give up the baby. He went back to Mexico. The final tragedy is that most, or all, of the people they exploitedindividuals commonly referred to as their "narcissistic supply"end up deserting them. com . Slowly but surely my daughter after all her life is beginning to see things,differently as she now is starting to understand the rejection when he will forfeit his visitation time with her at the drop of a dime to attend to his own selfish needs.