19. This isnt necessarily a bad thing; its healthy to be able to access your emotions. Intense personality is related to high sensitivity and other traits. how to soften an intense personality. Intense people. I understand that Im responsible for my emotions. Watch out for loud, fast talkers who, even if they ask you a question, never seem to draw breath long enough to hear your answer. Always consult your doctor or health care provider. Moderating how much you see someone gives you time to start missing them again and get excited about the next time youll be together. And hours. This is because they can find it hard to engage in trivial pastimes and joviality, being all too aware of the weight of feelings around them. Don't bring it up at the end of a long work day (for her). 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Theres a time and a place for serious conversations, but intense people cant always find the right balance. Here are some of the most obvious character traits of an intense person. They developed a scale for its detection. Big hugs love and congrats for taking this step in your journey. I wasnt soft. 25. Sometimes, feelings can become so powerful and compelling that the person would feel out of control, losing the ability to think straight, or to the point where it feels unbearable. If you know someone like this, remind them to take a breath once in a while and dont feel the need to keep pace with them, whatever works for you is just fine. Being a deep thinker doesnt necessarily make you an intense person, but is a sign that you might be one. Over 200 vegetarian recipes free of gluten, dairy, soy, sugar, eggs, peanuts, corn and other inflammatory foods. But what does it mean to have an intense personality and how do you know if you have one? Lacks empathy and easily disregards others' needs. You also tend to be hyper-sensitive to others attempts at manipulation, calling it out or shamelessly sabotaging their efforts. You can email me and work with me as a client and I direct my clients to all the healers. Here's how to tell if you're an intense person. Sign up for Scary Mommy's daily newsletter for more stories from the trenches. I was being too hard (physically and mentally) on myself and I needed to tap into the feminine. You tend to be clingy with your closest relationships. Being intense may just be in your nature. An intense personality may also mean that you jump to the big questions quickly. You don't waste time on small talk. Conversely, we may feel uncomfortable making eye contact because of the intensity of our inner thoughts and emotions. When I describe someone as a sponge, don't get offended. UGH!! Some people might be a bit awkward in social situations. To improve the world, we need people with ideas and commitment. We hope you find this article helpful! Dont subject yourself to the same self-study that you feel driven to undertake and try to practice mindfulness when you can, to engage with the world around you peacefully and thoughtfully. but since most of us werent (myself included), thank you for pointing out the importance for us to teach to ourselves as adults. It just means you're soft. I confess, I haven't been a perfect angel. Its ok to need to take a step back from someone if youre finding them a bit intense, but its best to watch out for the signs before you start to feel too emotionally and physically exhausted. I believe I have managed this to a degree but still have a ways to go. Most intense people are driven by a need to find their purpose, and to achieve the goals they set out to. What you do know is you absolutely hate it when others tell you to lighten up or calm down or chill.. Try to take it easy when you can, and give your headspace a rest from the overthinking and perpetual analysis. You can be carried away by something beautiful to the point of feeling enraptured. document.getElementById( "ak_js_2" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This article is a godsend and one of the tools Im using for self-acceptance. Having such a strong personality is usually OK, but we must be self-aware of what we are. Prolonged Eye Contact- Means long lasting eye contact between partners or between potential love interest. If someone stepped on it, we would cringe, shriek, or melancholically stare at its remains for longer than the average person.. Although you and others can see the beauty and positive qualities of your emotional intensity, there are times when you may want to dial it back or you may need to due to the situation. Thank you Loren! They can also be highly competitive, which can make them seem overly intense to some people. These types may also be very determined to make plans come true. Thank you for offering this to the community. Latest posts by Lauren Edwards-Fowle, M.Sc., B.Sc. You see the world with depth and complexity. So many people (including 'the old me') would react without thinking, instantly moving into the fight or flight fear mentality putting themselves into the victim mode. Being intense isnt just about how you feel it is also about needing to fulfill a burning desire to keep moving and progressing. As long as you arent acting in a disruptive or threatening manner (which does require adjustments), youre not necessarily looking to change. Your depth and giftedness make you feel (and seem to others) like an old soul who is wise beyond your years. As a busy manufacturing leader, there's a chance that you can be a bit too intense at times. You yearn to find the truth in all situations, even if its uncomfortable for you and those around you. Lots of love! Hi Mindy, Were conscientious and sincere to a fault. Think 2 minutes at the most! Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist I stopped being so forceful and started embracing the gentler side of me. You dont feel a need to conform to someone elses idea of how you should be. It also means youre more of an open book. Dont expect others (even those you love) to always understand you. how to soften an intense personality. You are sensitive to spiritual things. 15. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. 7. This can be because they are over-excitable, over-emotional, or subconsciously trying to dominate the conversation. It dawned on me that I was so harsh. And trust me, this isnt something a doctor will tell you to do. If you have found any comfort, support or guidance in our work, please consider donating: document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); I'd like to receive your latest weekly newsletter! When you soften and pause, you notice whats happening in your life without judgement and emotion and you can shift your mindset from fighting what is in front of you to figuring out WHY its happening. 1. Dont worry, those people dont live on the same wavelength as you do find your tribe, know your worth, and dial it back when you can to find a little peace in your every day. These eight signs are traits common to owners of a strong personality, so if you see yourself reflected here consider yourself intense. Thank for your post on softening ourselves. Youve learned to accept yourself as you are and not to sweat the uninformed opinions of those whose expectations you dont meet. Can be moody or irritable at times, but they also have an intense passion for life. As a survivor of fundamentalist religious abuse, her mission is to help others find love, strength, and inner light in even the darkest places. 1) You ask too many questions Because you like to understand things at a deeper level, you are naturally curious. Namaste. 26. These include being excited, feeling fearful, being happy, and experiencing despair all in quick succession. I've met some of my best friends by being intense. Your intensity may make it difficult for some people to relax around you. You like consistency or, rather, you expect it. A person can be made to feel wrong for the most part of his or her life, and internalizing this sense of shame can lead to depression, low self-esteem, inability to self-regulate, and inner emptiness.. We only have so much of ourselves to share around and you should surround yourself with people who bring a richness to your life, not leave you feeling drained. But while having an intense personality might not be approved by society (the scientific name is being extra), its actually a gift in disguise. More commonly, its because of the level of emotional engagement they are demanding from you. Why do I need to be less intense (to please others)? She lived in Manhattan for a few years but now is in Philly. Learn to defuse your own frustration. You use intense language. Do you ever come away from seeing someone feeling absolutely exhausted? Youre hungry for new experiences that can teach you more about something that matters to you, even if they only help you identify your likes and dislikes. Its not a makeup mistake. [Read More]. Much love, There are alpha personalities, type A personalities, type B personalities, and complex people, too. If the abrasive person is your peer you will share how his or her behavior impacts you and request that it stop. This might be because they are racing through topics and questions that are hard to keep up with. Most intense people know their behavior is unhealthy, stated Marty Nemko Ph.D. They simply cant control themselves any more than a laid-back person can make themselves driven.. topic outline of the golden age of comics Youre a sucker for an epic romance, and you want one of your own. Someone who I would consider intense would be or do some of the following: talk non stop, not allowing others to talk. Maybe journal. As an intense person myself, its always been difficult making/keeping long-term friends. cavocrol percentage. And they dont see a point in even trying to. I used to be hard core about doing intense exercise 3-4 times a week. As with all things personality-based, it may feel tough to dig deeper and figure out why you act a certain way. May your growing self-knowledge enrich and strengthen all your relationships. You resent anyone telling you what you should or shouldnt be interested in. All Rights Reserved. So, my message to you today is to start softening yourself for your health. For example, an intense bride might overly plan for their wedding and send daily emails to their wedding party with every detail firmly listed. Let go of the desire to battle obstacles in your life to win or be right. Both make the world better than it would be without them. Therefore, emotional intensity has characteristics that are measurable and identifiable. An intense person is likely to be so busy that they start to make you feel anxious. They are passionate people. It is a descriptive language that becomes their identity. Every conversation must be meaningful and satisfying, or you feel cheated of your time and attention. Or how many reminded you of someone you know and love? beautifully said and so incredibly wise. Youre fully capable of keeping yourself entertained without anyone elses attention or admiration. I have a question to ask you how do I get in contact with the types of healers that you speak about who have helped you relax, soften, and get through all of your lifestyle changes? 'His mouth was a tight red knot.') One way to make eye description more interesting is to make characters' eyes stand out in relation to character traits or other features: 2. 12. An Intense Person has Emotional Depth and Passion You have always been an 'old soul'. Thank you. However, as a parent, you should know that an intense child may just be a child who puts more energy into their feelings and emotions than the people around them. xox. Sometimes months. When you're a sponge. I was more like a librarian than anything. If this passion is making marriage difficult, here are some suggestions for balancing it: You might like:15 Best Personality Development Activities for Students. 7.7% of men and 4.8% of women will develop narcissistic personality disorder at some point in their lifetime. You wear your heart on your sleeve. Im talking about when someone gets serious all the time. This heightened level of attention and commitment can only last so long before it before becomes smothering or just simply burns itself out. How much oregano oil did you take per day and the strength of it I.e. If you feel like youre starring in the latest crime drama and are stuck in a confession room rather than having a catch up with your friend or partner, then it sounds like youre dealing with someone who has an intense personality. When a situation becomes intense, the drama factor is at a high, and with intense people comes drama. Have you ever been told youre too intense? by | Jun 16, 2022 | costco dollywood tickets | oklahoma city arts festival 2021 | Jun 16, 2022 | costco dollywood tickets | oklahoma city arts festival 2021 His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Let's look at ways you can soften anger, without turning it against yourself or dumping it on someone else. They are extra all the time, probably successful, smart, grab attention easily. Learn Which Types Are The Brainiest, Wondering What You Should Do Today? However, those rules are frequently challenging to implement. In a way, they are sensitive and absorb the emotions of others. Authenticityas you see it manifests as consistency. If the person is your manager you will take a similar approach as talking with a peer - point out the conduct, the impact it has on you and request that it stop. You admit your faults. That said, if your intensity is making it hard to be in a relationship, here are some tips on how to balance it: Now that youve learned more about intense personality traits, how many of them resonated with you? An active way to examine and express your thoughts is to start a journaling practice or start expressive writing regularly. Most of us grew up listening to adult lectures about the correct way to speak and express ourselves. Being intense means that, most likely, you wont stay on the surface of life like the majority of other people. We should apply kindness to both others and ourselves. And since you dont engage in either without skillfully wielding the proper weapons, your opponents tend to lose (or resort to name-calling). My pleasure; so happy to hear that you can relate and hope you realize that means that you are not alone. You're genuine and fearless in expressing yourself. Nothing comes out of your mouth that you dont mean. You expect others to give as you give. how to soften an intense personality. Overthinking and a tacit sensitivity to emotional overload makes more intense people more exposed to feelings of anxiety. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. So you may need to tone down the colour as you age so that it . So now, you're a dried up sponge that feels useless. A lack of consistency makes it difficult (if not impossible) to trust someone. Youre all in, and youd alienate the world to have your friends back. My lifestyle was so scattered and my healing wasnt consistent because I wasnt treating myself with respect. Its important to remind them that these things can often be hard to control. Intense, quirky people tend to attract other intense, quirky people. Polish everything you type with instant feedback for correct grammar, clear phrasing, and more. Understand that the person in front of you may be louder or seem more confident. If you took an extensive personality test, what are the chances that your results would be accurate to other peoples predictions about you? Maybe youre around someone like that, and its just too stressful for you. Maybe youre just processing something. You might be able to handle a conversation like this once in a while, but if this is everyday life for you, youre going to wind up resentful of the attention they are demanding from you but not giving back in return. This post may contain affiliate links. Although the passion and curiosity you have remained like that of a child. For some, this will be overwhelming. Youre open-minded about new ideas and experiences. 22. To harness that, when dealing with an intense person, dont compete with that or try to tamp it down. Your powerful thought processes, intuition, and perceptions allow you to see things more quickly and clearly than most. 15 Signs of Intense Personality You May Have, How to Become Less Angry When Its Necessary, 15 Best Personality Development Activities for Students, 13 Personality Traits of a Horrible Employee | Learnizia, How Does Personality Influence Leadership Style | Learnizia. But yes, some of these are risky if youre someone whos very anxious about outcomes in life and playing the victim card. A relationship is all about give and take, and a successful one will have you feeling like you both support each other equally. I am 25, work in Manhattan, and I thought it was just me who could feel so burnt out and stressed all the time. We can heal ourselves with guidance! Describe their mouth, nose, brow, chin and ears. These two types have a tendency to be outspoken, driven, and demanding. Theyre driven by passion, and when they feel passionate about something, they give it their all. We talk about intensity like it is a bad thing. We identified some strategies to effectively manage emotions. Every few sentences of this article, I would think, yep, thats my daughter. ENTJ and ENFJs are the most intense. C. Made them feel silly with a witty and intense come-back. Theyre said to be the radicals of society, the misanthropes of the world, and the killjoys of polite and amicable conversations. Feeling bored, irritated, and impatient. growth mindset activities for high school pdf how to soften an intense personality When you argue (or fight), you play to win. Over the past 3 years Ive undergone a pelvic surgery, had a stomach ulcer and back and foot pain, all from what doctors conclude is from stress. Maybe once you were quick to let people in, but early experiences of betrayal or abuse have made you more cautious. Regardless of your personality type, finding a good therapist is a vital tool to learn more about yourself. And if anyone asks how you feel, you dont sugarcoat it for them. And its 150mg per capsule. 9. Yes, I agree that this can come across as clingy but we have such BIG hearts! The Psychotherapist Imi Lo defines emotional intensity as a form of neurodiversity that is most often misunderstood by our culture. It means feeling things deeply, ricocheting between highs and lows, and experiencing emotions in profoundly intense ways that other people cannot feel. Required fields are marked *. However, as long as were self-aware about what we project, being an intense personality is typically OK. 2. Being in big groups feels like were half-assing social engagement. I've vented a time or two. Thank you for reading. You don't worry about what other people think of you. 7. Yes, kids can be a lot to handle. Its something I discovered about myself through getting quiet with myself, meditating more and working with healers to help me find where I was blocking myself and in my own way.