Honestly, it doesnt dominate my life My improv group had NO idea I was into Star Wars until it came up in a scene and my knowledge of it was rather startling to ALL involved. Only one parent here is enforcing assignments on their child. No. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. lets_be_honest That sounds awful, Im, so sorry. They can work together to work on his father-daughter relationship but if his attitude doesnt change itll be that much harder. I recall all too well how some can turn every god damn conversation into a deep Buffy exploration So, yes. Can Humans Detect Text by AI Chatbot GPT? However, my dad, who had all daughters, liked baseball and basketball and he was an outdoorsman. Now Im crying at my desk, for some reason. July 2, 2013, 2:09 pm, Absolutely agree. July 2, 2013, 1:32 pm. My sister and I grew up reading scifi and fantasy. The episode where Picard experiences an entire lifetime with a wife, children, grandchildren etc. Your husband and your daughter are both geeks at heart, which is encouraging. July 2, 2013, 4:47 pm. More of a this is silly than yall are stupid eye roll. I promise, the daughter will remember and cherish the efforts. bitter_straight_lets_be_honest and your journey to the darkside shall be complete, lets_be_honest I think my athletic and musical skills would have benefited a lot if I could have had practice early. He didnt tell me The Right Stuff was a terrible song, he tried to play me some Beatles or Eagles to open my mind. Theres nothing wrong with mindless pop culture, imo, so long as its balanced with things opposite that. Im breaking out in hives. How are those pre-teen interests? My stepfather and my mother told me I was weird and that Id regret it because Id never be popular or normal, or get boys to like me. For the first time in my life, I woke up at 5:30 a.m. to be at the stream, fishing pole in hand and waders on, to fly fish with my dad. When I was a kid, my mom was always kind of a dick about going to see my dads family, so it was usually just him and me. But you know what. Yes. At a certain point you just have to laugh at all the differences and enjoy the fact that the other person is having a good time! Unless its, you know, the lastest Madonna tour or album . Intimate partners count on each other to maintain a sane interaction. The letter says the daughter cant watch what she is interested in when he is around. Reviewed by Jessica Schrader. July 2, 2013, 10:32 am. To me, those things just come along with being part of a family. LWs daughter should definitely be involved with some enriching activities, but theres no harm at all in loving media. If he wants her to take an interest in his hobbies, he needs to feign interest in hers. I dont know why the father doesnt like Star Trek, but shows like Eureka, Warehouse 13, and Revolution are all pretty good cross sections of fangirlyness and science. "I cant win for losing. I have vivid memories of being forced to attend Cardinals games with my dad because my mom said it was important. Yes, he makes fun of my sister and mother and i whenever we talk a lot about Girly things, like makeup and hair, which I find annoying and a little jerky; but I dont think hes failed at parenting because of it. Obviously, this is as much your husbands job as it is yours, but right now it seems hes threatened by the bond you share with your daughter and is acting childish. Theyve Seen Firsthand How Unhappy Their Parents Are, 3. Meh, I wouldnt call him a total jerk, I can see getting frustrated that not only does your daughter not enjoy the samethings as you, but now all of the sudden your wife doesnt either, just because your daughter doesnt. Skyblossom July 2, 2013, 11:08 am. This young girl sounds like shes already quite cultured! But you seem to have past that point long ago) Just as your husband has tried to cultivate in her his interests. I hope that you can in the process of all this also try to strengthen your marriage, because when your daughter gets new interests in two years or doesnt want to hang out with her parents or even when she moves out of the house, your husband is going to be the one who youre left with. Hes so dreamy, if not annoyingly alpha-male-y. Its a source of strength, comfort, and love. Why Does Your Daughter Wants You To Leave Your Husband? . I think visiting an air and space museum if shes interested in Star Trek is a great idea. I was in bed, asleep. July 2, 2013, 12:15 pm. I can't even. It is as if some hidden combination of childhood trauma and life experience made them terrified to owe their partners anything. I was afraid the BS stood for something else. Guy asked me out and now makes me feel bad for saying no. Absolutely. His dad wasnt a particularly avid fisherman, he just thought it would be a good father-son activity. Cover your daughter and her husband with generous . I love it. Sounds to me like not only is dad not interested in or even bothering to take an interest in any of his daughters interests, but he also disparages them and her calling her uninformed, lacking initiative and uncompetitive and bitches because she isnt more like what he wants her to be like. Your first reaction is to take sides, but you realize that would be a mistake. FUCK BOARD GAMES. LW, would your husband be up for a night of board games with you and your daughter? I agree with you, again. She has to do something she doesnt like from time to time. July 2, 2013, 11:56 am. When I was a child my mom dragged me to countless art museums with my sister. The dad needs to get over his superiority complex and then the daughter might stop pulling away. A my worldview is the best worldview type of parenting works out for no one, as my mother found out. Here are a few things you can do to try and improve the relationship between them: Its not uncommon for daughters to want their parents to divorce. Haha! Hed take me to Barnes and Noble and buy me a new Star Wars fan magazine every time. Maybe they have communicated about this many times, but obviously there havent been any results yet! I mean, maybe? I realized at a young age that compromise was an important thing in a relationship. But the show as a whole, awesome. Its not your fault if your partner and daughter dont get along. Exposure to anything is great for children. In the last 2-3 years my husband and daughter have has a strained and tense relationship because of her actions and his attitude. 2. And also, him treating her with respect and letting her know he values her, well that will also help shape her future relationships where she will know she deserves to be respected, valued and loved. He did crossword puzzles so I sat down next to him so I could learn and now we do them together. Theres no reason why reading books and an interest in musicals and playing music make someone uninformed, one persons preference for geography over literature doesnt make them more informed than the other one! I didnt say she was liking or disliking things to get close to her daughter. lets_be_honest Discuss that there are other things to talk about sure. When I was a kid in middle school, I clammed up and didnt develop my relationship with my parents because they were critical of my interests. He even told me the next day that he was the luckiest guy in the world. Making your kids do shit they dont necessarily like a lot is just life. I went to on a three week roadtrip with her last spring (LA to New Orleans) a year ago in January And then we went to Bali for two weeks. Im supposed to make sure shes taking care of herself and shes so grateful that someone cares that much, and the next day Im trying to 'control' her. bittergaymark He is clearly not getting the message. FWIW, I didnt get that vibe either, Fabelle. He may be uncomfortable talking about his feelings or sharing personal stories. it seems to . You might have started asking yourself, Is this person taunting me on purpose? But if youre saying that getting the daughter into these things was some deliberate, malicious move on the part of the mother, I doubt that. July 2, 2013, 11:03 am, I think what needs to be addressed here is the the primary relationship in a familythe marriage. But even then I would tell you to be a little more hipper and current than Buffy . Within a year of this, my dad became abusive. I think This Old House was all overbut only we know Miss Judy. Help her see the best side of her dad, even if hes sometimes making it difficult. Theres no excuse for that. Its interesting how the commenters with nice, loving parents saw this one way, and those of us with our experience saw it as something much darker. To care for our two young kids. What music you like or books you read is a matter of personal preference, and really its rude to mock people for their personal taste just because it doesnt align with yours unless theres racism or violence or something. And LW- anyone who tells you Firefly is not a good show doesnt know what their talking about! Im not gonna say that those novels were the sole reason she and I both ended up with lucrative and fulfilling careers in the hard sciences, or the sole reason why were both great writers and communicators, or the sole reason we didnt have to pay for college (we both got full scholarships). Though they might not always like what they hear or see, they are not typically faced with unexpected surprises or unpredictable outcomes. there are people out there who dont know what This Old House is? Shes interested in piano, archery, musicals and science fiction. Why cant he ask simple questions about what is her favorite episode and why? My ex-husband had custody for 6 1/2 years. I get that hes probably feeling left out, but thats not cool. If your daughter has seen you and your husband arguing or otherwise being unhappy together, she may start to feel like she needs to choose sides. Both of them are alike in that they are argumentative, particularly with each other, and if they disagree with each other or even have a misunderstanding neither will let it go, such that WE end up with ridiculous escalating fights.. I would have been more open to doing different things if I wasnt told that there was something wrong or bad about the interests I did have. July 2, 2013, 11:04 am. I mean you describe your partner (who sounds amazing BTW) as cultivating her interests and introducing her to things which doesnt sound like what this dad is doing. All of these are better that watching the Kardashians find new ways to make money or reading magazines that criticize stars beach bodies. I wonder, though, if it would seem less like forcing if maybe the mother and father both liked to camp? Additionally, she may worry that if she stays in an unhappy marriage like yours, it will damage her relationship with her future spouse. I hated being around my father because it was constant criticism about my interests, which frankly, felt very personal because I was deficient for not being what he wanted. Its also important to take into account your daughters age and stage of development. Actually, we dont know this girl but based on this letter, I think that the father is very concerned that she isnt well rounded. And something about him wanting the daughter to be more competitive just struck me the wrong way. No. Be happy that your daughter has a father who wants to be involved in her life. I think you are probably right. One centering dynamic is to be each other's 'coaches,' and to offer each other feedback and support in managing the kid with the behavior problem." Dealing with your distress, your kid's distress,. My parents listened to Oldies. My grandparents have a VHS of her wishing my cousin and I happy birthday. Though unsettling, your partner was not boring. One of these people is an adult and one of these people is twelve.
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