Over the course of the song, she writes on the board: "Copy one million times by tomorrow. That kids like me should be against the law. MISS HONEY laughs and exits down the stairs at the front of the stage. Give my little bumblebee her house and her money. . Crime and Punishment . . Get out of it! Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. Now, that is how you do it! MATILDA Smells chocolatey, eh? Thank you for suggesting it. Good hair means a good brain. "AMANDA" drops from the rafters above the audience into a pile of coats underneath her. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, Please! Follow. But this little girl . Twelve times two is twenty-four. I shall pound you. She's reading a book. The great feat was instantly forgotten, and the applause went on for nearly an hour. [Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to]. Hmm. You've not got the spine. [reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard] "Right"? A beautiful, beautiful little girl. Where's his fingie? 4. MRS WORMWOOD exits. That love and fate and a touch of stupidity Back before my life had ended, Then your mummy is a twit! MRS PHELPS COUPLES Stop! That's right, sir. Where he's been for the last hour, actually. "A contract was signed to perform this feat, and perform this feat you shall! //-->. A member of the mafia! What on earth did you do that for? Matilda is a very intelligent and determined young girl appearing in the Roald Dahl children's book of the same name. MR WORMWOOD Narrator: These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone." Roald Dahl, Matilda tags: books , literature , reading , words Whatever you do, just don't give in. What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? . MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST The room freezes as MISS TRUNCHBULL starts to write the word "GUILTY" on the board. You oughtn't blame yourself now, come along. My daddy says I'm his special little . BIG KID [BEN] Even if what you got is not a lot. 4. Look at that! Considerably roomier inside. [She presses an intercom on her desk.] And even if you put in heaps of effort, No one's gonna tell you when to shake your tush. You should read it. Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. No. Claiming that they know stuff we don't know. Before my happy days were over, If,1,null Matilda Pick Up Lines. My, my, that is good. It's going to be brilliant! Matilda is a American fantasy comedy film co-produced and directed by Danny DeVito, from a screenplay written by Nicholas Kazan and Robin Swicord. The biggest burp I had ever heard about! You are guilty, because you are a fiend. MISS TRUNCHBULL walks heavily toward the coats. The kind with food and teeny-weeny cockroaches. MRS WORMWOOD Not the end of your nose. When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. We must find out how it ends. Now get out. MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. I'm afraid I've not been too successful in getting others to recognize your . CHILDREN Yes! [to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts] He surely can't! Agatha Trunchbull: My mummy says I'm a miracle, BRUCE You're almost finished. [He does a split in front of MISS HONEY. I love it here! We give the Whisper Challenge a shot with a little spin on it. MR WORMWOOD Jenny: . Wot? WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. BIG KIDS And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. [turns to Michael] 3. Can you spell? DOCTOR If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. 10. Pokemon Pick Up Lines. MRS WORMWOOD Zinnia Wormwood: MATILDA Erm, well, as you know, Matilda is in the bottom class. [Looking irritated, she makes her way to BRUCE's side.] . National Green Hair Day! MISS HONEY What car? This one was mine. I ate the lot! Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. Matilda: MATILDA It was the biggest burp I had ever done. MR WORMWOOD exits. Agatha Trunchbull: [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. Just knock on the door . Every life I bring into this world Is your nickname glucose? Harry Wormwood: What? MATILDA sits to the side, reading a book. The reason the mileage is so high is a manufacturing mistake.". Right. [She takes MATILDA by the wrist and leads her to ERIC's desk.] . NIGEL runs in up the steps stage left, screaming. ACROBAT [off-stage] [He tries and fails to pull his hat off, tugging on it several times.] Did you hear what we said? The DOCTOR runs behind the table with the others. You what? [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. [He laughs then peters out.] MISS HONEY Their sadness overwhelmed them, and drew them into ever more dangerous feats, as their work became the only place they could escape the inescapable tragedy of their lives! [He throws the phone to the lackey.] . You and I must be Weedles. MRS PHELPS google_color_text="5F6A72"; Damn girl, I think I need a Parlyz Heal, Because you're stunning. As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt google_ad_height=90; 'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot. 100 Best Pickup Lines for Girls That Actually Work | by Qasim Adam | ILLUMINATION | Medium 500 Apologies, but something went wrong on our end. One day Jen, you'll see that everything I do is for your own good. If they start to squeeeeze out of your ears, you're going to need help. [into recorder] The teacher's clearly falling short. They're like insects: they should be got rid of as early as possible. [the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house]. MR WORMWOOD When all had quietened down, she stepped forward and produced . queens! Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. Meet Matilda. Loud, loud, loud, loud! RUDOLPHO saunters over and holds his arm out to MISS HONEY. My mummy says I'm a miracle. Was it magic? Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! I can be a soldier. [throws carrot from the spoon. BIG KID [BEN] Agatha Trunchbull: MISS HONEY Just knock on the door. Extra strong. . MISS HONEY YoU listen here, my dear, MRS PHELPS It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. and astronauts! She's probably having a meeting or something and won't want to be interrupted. Dinners don't microwave themselves, you know! The alphabet? I might have known. To hammer throwing, life, and school MRS PHELPS enters. You don't let me talk to people! You'll be punished so severely if you step out of line. I don't want another one. You gotta give yourself permission to shine. Why would you want to read when you got the television set sitting right in front of you? <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 612 792] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> So, erm . Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. Prettier barrelina! . Before I first heard the Pealing of the bell. RUDOLPHO And it was the most scrumptious cake in the entire world. Might she be a little brighter than her class? Maybe. No one is as bold or tough as me. Harry Wormwood: You wouldn't listen. . [grabbing and clenching Miss Honey's wrist very tightly in her fist] Instead, she's found me. FBI Agent Bob: But it's a truth empirical I think I'm gonna keep this on. . All grown-ups get scared, just like children. What's wrong with the telly? Matilda lies down and flicks off the light. She stops in triumph. We're rehearsing. Okay! . . [She gets on all fours as RUDOLPHO rides her like a horse.] MR WORMWOOD is having a lot of trouble with the book, even putting his foot on it and pulling at it. But I've got a baby! They're trying to scare us. Two times . He's over there, under those coats. It was like the entire world went silent for that Good-bye, Miss Honey. For men. She re-enters carrying two square blocks, one larger than the other. You really don't know anything, do you? BIG KIDS approach and start climbing onto the gate and grabbing the CHILDREN from behind it. Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. I really hope you have a search warrant. Zinnia Wormwood: Girl, you've gotta learn to stand up and stick out from the Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? You have to force the little squits to toe the line! She uses them to carry on a conversation. He's fantastic! Creep on back to that library of yours or something. . They line up at the back of the stage. [noticing her books] Indeed, sir. I can pretend I'm an . celebrities! [They start chattering. Matilda's teacher? If you want to throw the hammer for your country. Isn't there some more? You're being pathetic! An unhatched tadpole. Neigh! Yes! Her mind is incredible. You and your father think you can make a fool out of me! RD.com. Go fig-ueur! What is this trash you're reading? Than the volume with which what you don't know's expressed. . MRS PHELPS Finally, he grabs an individual page in glee. Fourteen times two is twenty-eight. All right. Mr Wormwood! For each correct answer, they'll move one step closer to our Cube of Cash. That's the bananas right there. MICHAEL sits on his lap. [Talking about the cake] You have a worm, Hey, dip face. I am GUILTYwhen the Headmistress says I am GUILTY.". A little less zzz, a lot more zing. I think she might be an idiot. The secret to my success is this. Quite a long way, I think. Yes! It's time you learned the family business. She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. Agatha Trunchbull: Eight times two is sixteen. MISS HONEY Matilda: With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! DOCTOR You don't use sympathy or tenderness. That is v . Jenny: No, it's a library book! What? You are going to march in there and give them a piece of your mind. Agatha Trunchbull: [as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers] Now, get off to bed, you little bookworm. That's not right. MRS WORMWOOD Look, am I fat? Wonderful. See! But she is a squib. MISS HONEY enters and turns away in shock. MR WORMWOOD enters with a lackey, who sits on a tyre behind him. If you were six-and-a-half, you'd be in school already. They say it's a cupboard in her office that she throws children into. The apple never rots far from the tree! MR WORMWOODOh, this is thick! Did you see all those packages outside? MISS HONEY exits behind the stacks as the library scene rolls in. MISS HONEY Leave it alone, Jenny. In this classroom, in this school, I am god! Dosvedoo-dah. MISS HONEY faces the audience and raises her fist. Mum, would you like to hear a story? A wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring love, and magic, and happiness, and wonder! His whatchamacallit. MATILDA said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. Four judges in outrageous costumes sit behind it. Ahh! Hm? Two times two is four. They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the Incredible Hulk, Lavender as a Princess, Nigel as Spiderman, Bruce in army gear, Amanda as Superwoman, Alice as Wonder Woman, Hortensia as a queen. [TV Version] Dip face! For those idiots out there who don't know how to play, here's how it goes. Miracle! Everything was arranged by [She pulls her coat over her head to simulate a hunchback, and grabs a large book.] OLDER KIDS I didn't do it. Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. A celebration of all the wonderful green things in the world, like, er, oh, like lettuce, and snot. MAN: Don't put honey on your brother. This must confirm, Bruce, MR WORMWOOD One minute in your company, and suddenly I'm thinking of new paint colors. But unleSs you want to suffer, listen up Harry Wormwood: I didn't do anything! Content has never been less important, so [Jenny knocks on Ms. Trunchbull's door] Filthy, nasty things. . How far can you go? . BIG KID [TAMIKA] Mine are driving me crazy. But not just to see their skill, but also to see their love for each other, which was so deep that it was said that cats would purr as they passed them, and dogs would weep with joy. 2. AMANDA stands up and screams in triumph. A weakling? And that's not right. Nonsense. . To fetch a pail of water. MRS WORMWOOD So innocent I asked a thousand questions. I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . You Don't waste this. A contract is a contract is a contract! . so I pick it up and - No! The gate rolls away. And Even if you put in heaps of eFfort, MRS PHELPS screams and exits. WOMAN: And insightful. NIGEL This child doesn't have a "thingie" . MISS TRUNCHBULL MRS WORMWOOD A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. BRUCE Yes, Miss Trunchbull. 'Pfffft,' you think, 'what's so grand about some silly math pick-up line?' Quick, jackets! Not a dot did I stray from the plot. He's eaten it all. They were written that way: . Then suddenly, the audience jumped to its feet and roared in appreciation! And if it's not right, Oh my. . MR WORMWOOD grabs his suitcase and exits along with the lackey. What we all suspected. I don't know. Don't listen to them. But wrong. As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan? You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you? Trunchbull: The 3rd cost $68. CHILDREN BIG KID [BEN] And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. It is, is it? I wonder why they didn't just change their story. RUDOLPHO starts dancing with and carrying around MISS HONEY, which he continues to do throughout the song. Oh, no, it's a lovely book. Oh, did I not mention? Let out your belt. So you're Wormwood, are you? Why? All the while, AMANDA's screams get louder. Oh, my word, he's an ugly little thing. And people would come from miles around: kings! MR WORMWOOD "Hi, My Name Is [insert name]." I'd say this one is the number one pick-up line of all time. The desks descend into the ground. How does that sound? Harry Wormwood: ], MISS HONEY And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. Why? Agatha Trunchbull: These are the best hilarious pick up lines we've got, so if you can manage a decent delivery, you've got great odds you'll have her smirking, smiling, laughing, and eager to get closer. MATILDA holds her a dramatic pose, holding the large book above her head. It's just pathetic! MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST endobj Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose. [she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely]. . And if you cry it will be double. That's it! No one's gonna tell you when to wiggle your bumba. LAVENDER MATILDA They embrace and exit out the back of the stage. MATILDA DOCTOR Put your light on. Oh [Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair]. FBI Agent Bob: DOCTOR google_ad_width=120; [Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house]. I can't find his frank 'n' beans! Michael chokes the carrot, while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach, Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey, Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde, Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair, walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror, throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown, the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house, Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage, realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt, Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house, as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers, looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us, after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering. Well, this crime took place before school started. She taught us with a poem. Sued by who? [to Zinnia] I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD [Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage]. No "buts". . But the "tomato" is a very good word. Now, eat it. And this gown is nothing like the semi-formal, An audience cheers. MRS WORMWOOD [She flicks on the light of the vanity in her parent's bathroom, which has risen from the stage. Agatha Trunchbull: MATILDA Psst! MISS TRUNCHBULL grabs AMANDA by the pigtails and swings her around and around. I think he blinked. Matilda Quotes Showing 1-30 of 112 "So Matilda's strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. [her car has broken down] He stands up on a block. It seems that there are millions of these "one in a millions" these days. It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. So she's learned a few tricks. Matilda: MATILDA pauses for several moments, holding the dolls in front of her contemplatively. Dad too. FBI Agent Bill: Here. I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. [She flicks the screens off again.] MATILDA MAN: We'll have to change his school. What a dear! I heard Meowth's not the only mischievious pussy in town. . Is she here? Yes, Miss Trunchbull, please, you can! Yes, sir. Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? Oh, yes. For being a smart aleck! Miss Honey: A model of a grand old house rolls in from the back of the stage. You have to stay inside the circle . And good luck with the Tolstoy. ALICE and HORTENSIA Your genius husband is going to sell them one hundred and fifty five knackered old bangers as brand-new luxury cars. She seems not to know that she's special at all. Now EAT IT! MRS WORMWOOD puts a number on RUDOLPHO's back as though they are competing in a dancing competition. Can I ask you a question? [insulted] Mrs. Wormwood: If anything, caution in these situations is sensible. You can adopt me. COUPLES, CHILDREN, and DOCTOR MR WORMWOOD takes a mirror that MRS WORMWOOD brandishes. Looks are more important than books. Rules? MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage]"It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". Oliver Twist . Would rob them of their hope of living happily. MR WORMWOOD A purple spotlight starts to make its way from Bruce across the classroom. It must be wonderful for a child to be so wanted. ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] That's where Ms. Trunchbull lives. the Acrobat's sister. MISS TRUNCHBULL turns off the screens with a remote and wheels around, holding a magnifying glass. Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. Yes, your teacher. Glad I never was one. . The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS take off their blazers and throw them on top of him. Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, like the kind, courageous people in her books. Someone told her I did it, but I never! MISS TRUNCHBULL MISS TRUNCHBULL And so, the great day arrived! | And . Trunchbull: CHILDREN A poem? Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? Ladies and gentlemen! [She re-enters her bedroom and jumps onto the bed.] I can! You didn't like the chokey, did you? That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a . Matilda: MR WORMWOOD Cover yourself in chocolate glory! MISS HONEY This miracle . [chanting with the rest of the class] Agatha Trunchbull: People whispered that in her dark and brooding heart, she resented the sister, both her success and her love. . MAN: I think he blinked. He rips out several pages and throws them dramatically on the ground. Yes. No, no, no, no [ad lib. Semi-Spanish gown Are you going to tell me a story or not? The subsequent fall was inevitable. She laughs. Dec 15, 2021 - Explore Matilda A.skott's board "pickup lines" on Pinterest. Oh, yes. I told you that was a cheap set. I'll say! Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! MR WORMWOODLook what I've just found! DOCTOR MATILDA She puts it down on the desk behind BRUCE. MRS PHELPS I should be dancing the Tarentella Let me tell you something, son. .